Cheer me up!

Okay. I have now officially tried everything to cheer myself up. I've eaten entire boxes of chocolate-chip cookies. I've read so many books during my free time. I've even given money to those door-to-door faith bringers, thinking that an act of selflessness might bring me inner peace. Unfortunately, the only results I got from these methods were nausea, a stiff neck, and several advices on finding enlightenment through whole-grain diets.

Even sleeping didn't do the trick. I must be worse off than I thought. It's like I've gone totally numb. Nothing matters much anymore. Stuff that used to occupy my thoughts all the time has now been elbowed out of the way by memories of my "Lolo'. It's like I'm stuck in reverse. Right now I've got four days' worth of baby sitting and one unfinished homework to write. but every time I sit down at my desk, I space out, and the next thing I know, an hour has passed and all I've done is to think about what happened.

Even Mom don't like me hanging around the house doing nothing all the time. She keep nagging at me to find something to do. She keeps saying this words that will make me dab my mouth with a napkin, jump up from the table, and fly out, resume in hand. She just doesn't understand. No one does. The only thing I want right now is to clear my thoughts. But that job is only be filled by my own self.